Finding Congruence: Integrating the Therapist and the Human

Being a human AND a therapist is challenging! Despite having our own issues to deal with, our purpose is still to help others. That’s where congruence is key. Whether you’re an associate therapist or decades into your career, it’s important to find congruence between your therapist self and your human self. But what does that mean? In this episode, we welcome Lacy Tannous, a psychotherapist and artist who specializes in working with teens, adults, and couples seeking greater emotional health and congruent connection. Lacy joins Kelley to talk about how to build more congruence in your therapy practice, especially if you’re an associate therapist in a private practice. Explore how congruence supports long-term growth in a solo therapy practice and contributes to success in therapy.

Lacy Tannous is a psychotherapist and artist located in Sierra Madre, California. She specializes in working with teens, adults, and couples seeking emotional health and congruent connection to themselves, the people they love, and the world around them. She’s passionate about exploring the connection between trauma recovery and creativity and enjoys singing, songwriting, and recording in tandem with clinical work. Learn more about her practice at www.lacytannoustherapy.com or on Instagram @lacytannous.

A Therapist’s Roadmap to Authenticity and Sustainability

Starting your private practice can feel like stepping into the unknown, exciting, overwhelming, and full of potential. But what if building your therapy practice didn’t have to be about fitting into someone else’s mold of success? What if congruence, being the same person inside and outside the therapy office, could be your most powerful marketing tool?

In a recent episode of The Private Practice Pro podcast, host Kelley Stevens interviewed Lacey Tianis, an associate marriage and family therapist and associate professional clinical counselor. Lacey’s journey into therapy is not only inspiring but full of relatable and practical wisdom for any therapist, whether you’re starting a solo therapy practice, joining a group therapy practice, or scaling a cash-pay therapy practice.

Here’s what we can learn from Lacey’s experience and how to apply it to your own roadmap for a sustainable and fulfilling private practice.

Authenticity Is a Marketing Strategy

One of the standout messages from Lacey is this: “We don’t need to be Disneyland. We only need 25 people in California who need help.” This is a grounding reminder in a world where therapists are bombarded with advice on how to attract everyone. But marketing for therapists isn’t about appealing to the masses; it’s about finding your people.

Instead of crafting a generic Psychology Today profile filled with buzzwords like “building the life you want” or “empowering your healing journey,” Lacey emphasizes writing from your voice. Authenticity attracts the right clients, and more importantly, repels the wrong ones, saving you time, energy, and burnout.

Marketing takeaway: You don’t need thousands of followers or a perfectly polished brand. You need to communicate clearly, congruently, and consistently, whether it’s through your Instagram, your website, or your therapy office environment.

Congruence Over Performance: Show Up As Yourself

As therapists, many of us feel pressure to dress or act a certain way in the therapy room. Lacey and Kelley both discuss how their personal style, yes, even wearing yoga pants, helped bridge the emotional gap with clients. Why? Because it made them more comfortable and human.

There’s something revolutionary about showing up as yourself in a profession that has historically encouraged detachment and formality. Lacey challenges the old definition of professionalism and instead leans into an embodied, human-first approach.

Private practice tip: If your therapy office doesn’t feel like you, change it. Whether that’s literal (dressing down, decorating your office with cozy elements) or metaphorical (using your real voice in your blog and bio), congruence helps both you and your clients feel more connected.

Start Slow. Grow Sustainably.

If you’re starting a therapy practice and you’re not immediately “fully booked,” you’re not failing; you’re building. Lacey emphasizes pacing and sustainability in her journey. She chose a four-year grad school track, took on part-time hours, and deliberately chose a group private practice that encouraged independence.

In the early stages, she accepted that building a caseload, especially in a cash-pay therapy practice, takes time and effort. Marketing ideas for therapists should center on long-term connection, not viral content.

Practical advice for new therapists:

• Consider Saturday appointments when starting out to fill your caseload faster.

• Join a group therapy practice with flexible terms that support long-term growth.

• Learn private practice tools for therapists early on, like SimplePractice or Telehealth platforms, to streamline operations.

• Focus on three to five ideal clients, not 30.

Build a Practice That Fits Your Life, Not the Other Way Around

Lacey made a conscious choice to avoid burnout by designing a lifestyle-first practice. She bikes to her therapy office, works part-time, and aims to preserve energy for her personal life. She’s building a private practice she can sustain, not just for a few years, but potentially for decades.

If you’re a therapist thinking about maternity leave, vacations, or reducing hours, it’s okay. You’re not alone. Kelley even shares that she took a full year off after giving birth at the beginning of the pandemic and came back stronger.

Private practice insight: Whether it’s a holiday in private practice or longer breaks, plan for time off. Success in therapy doesn’t mean being constantly available; it means staying aligned with your values.

Let Go of the Savior Complex

One of the most powerful admissions in the podcast came when Kelley said: “I started this work wanting to save everyone. But now I realize the longer I’m a therapist, the more I know I don’t know.”

Both she and Lacey reflected on how impostor syndrome and a deep need to be “useful” can drive burnout. This is especially common in out-of-network therapy practice or sliding scale therapy fees where therapists feel internal pressure to over-deliver.

Mindset shift: You’re not here to fix your clients. You’re here to witness, guide, and hold space. That’s more than enough.

Your Niche Will Find You

Trying to build a niche in the early stages of your therapy practice can feel daunting. But Lacey reminds us that clarity comes with experience. After over 2,000 clinical hours, she’s learned that her passion lies in working with college students, couples, and creatives. That self-discovery didn’t happen overnight; it emerged as she trusted herself and listened to her instincts.

Whether your niche ends up being success in teen therapy, trauma recovery, or out-of-network therapy for millennials, the important thing is to stay curious and flexible.

Niche-building tip: Instead of chasing a niche, reflect regularly on which sessions energize you and which ones drain you. That insight is more powerful than any SEO strategy.

The Long Game Matters More Than the Launch

So many therapists pour energy into how to start a private therapy practice but forget to consider what it should look like 10, 20, or 30 years from now.

Lacey imagines a retirement where she’s still curious, expressive, and maybe even wearing shorts in the therapy room at age 80. She’s not obsessed with numbers; she’s committed to congruence.

Your retirement plan starts now. What can you do today to make your private practice something you’d still love in 40 years?

Tools, Community, and Resources Matter

You don’t have to do it alone. Whether it’s learning how to write soap notes, joining therapist groups, using private practice tools for therapists, or enrolling in a therapist-approved marketing guide, there are resources to support your journey.

Explore:

• Online marketing for therapists, platforms like Instagram or email newsletters

• A roadmap to building a private practice from your supervision community

• Mental health business coaches or private practice consultants

• Sliding scale therapy fee structures if accessibility is a core value for you

Final Thought: Therapy Isn’t Just a Career, It’s a Calling

The takeaway from Lacey’s story is that therapy isn’t just about treating clients; it’s about becoming the most authentic version of yourself, too. Whether you’re exploring cash-pay therapy, growing your private practice, or learning how to navigate the business side of things, remember: success looks different for everyone.

Let congruence be your guide. And if you ever get lost, come back to this truth: You don’t need to be Disneyland. You just need 25 people who need your help.